birthED Homebirth Story - I Still Choose to Birth At Home
Thank you to this repeat birthED family for so graciously giving of not just their story but also their images. We find that a lot of birth preparation includes reading and hearing other stories that feel empowering and true to life. CONTENT CAUTION: This story includes a homebirth transfer for a baby who needed observation - but was non-emergent. Photos by: Sierra Madre Photography
The day you were born…
May 16th
I had been having mild prodromal labor with mild cramps in the evenings, but when I went to sleep they would fade. This Saturday I was especially uncomfortable all day. I could barely do basic tasks around the house. Wes and I hung out outside a lot, and I complained to myself that I couldn’t get comfortable sitting, standing, or lying on the couch. I also texted Liz that I was grumpy and couldn’t get comfortable all day. I did manage to make an early dinner of shrimp tacos, and Charles came home early around 4, just before they were ready. We went for a walk after dinner and I took a salty bath with Wesley. Charles did stories and put him to bed, I got some ice cream, and I got in bed around 7:30. Wes was asleep by about 8 and I tried to drift off then as well. These nightly cramps felt different, but I got up, drank more magnesium, and told myself if I could go to sleep it was nothing. After 30–45 minutes I still couldn’t lie still in bed. At 9 p.m. I told Charles I thought he should lie with me and time a few contractions but stay awake. After he timed one or two, I had to stand up. Wesley didn’t appreciate my stirring, but I explained to him that the baby might be coming and he needed to stay in bed and sleep. He repeated it back to me—“maybe baby is coming!”—and somehow drifted off to sleep while I got up.
Charles timed contractions while I slowly paced around the house. I did try to lie down several times, but my body needed movement. By this time he had texted our doula that I was lightly humming through contractions and couldn’t be still. I talked to the midwife on the phone; she listened to me during a couple of surges, and Charles kept the team updated via text while he got things ready and filled the tub. The surges steadily got stronger.
By 11:00 p.m., Liz and Aly had arrived. A few moments later our sibling doula walked in. I was convinced this would fizzle out and that it was prodromal. I could still talk! I was happy to see them but slightly embarrassed that they might have to go home. They walked in the door during a contraction and Liz gave me a wonderful hip squeeze.
I continued to walk around, now humming a little deeper through them but still feeling upbeat and peppy and talking between them. With a healthy dose of attitude, I did a few contractions on the toilet. Liz asked if I wanted to expedite things and I said, “Hell yes—why not?” so we did about five lift-and-tucks. Boy, did it work. After that I was deep growling through contractions and needed to be in small spaces. I was still talking between them and laughing at everyone’s jokes, so I was still not convinced this “was it.” While I expressed my denial, Aly looked me dead in the eyes and said, “You are having a baby tonight.”
Of course I believed her, so I got in the tub; it was about 12:45 a.m. I would feel nauseous at the end of each surge, but sips of electrolytes still tasted delicious.
As my body started to feel warm, overwhelm began to bubble up. I had a long, good cry leaning over the tub—perhaps fully releasing everything I had been holding onto during this pregnancy. Every emotional challenge, every long stretch of sickness, fatigue, and uncertainty was passing through me. My waters released at 1:17 while I was in the tub; it felt like a rocket shooting out of me, and then things truly picked up. Aly and Liz applied counterpressure to my lower back, which felt amazing. Charles was in the tub at that point, and I tried to grab onto him or anything I could reach. This baby was descending so quickly that my brain did not have time to catch up. The biological intensity completely overpowered my thinking brain.
I started to crawl along the walls and said out loud, “I am panicking.” I couldn’t keep up with what my body and this baby were doing. It was more powerful than me. My brain told me it was happening too fast and too soon, but my body was ready and getting this baby out on its own. When I opened my eyes, I saw warm, dim light and the stillness of calm people I trust. I roared like a feral mammal as the baby descended and gripped Charles as hard as I could for strength.
In the tub, facing Charles on all fours, I felt the highest peak of intensity and knew the baby was crowning. I heard Liz say, “The head is out,” then the baby’s body slipped out and I heard Aly say softly, “Here’s your baby.” I leaned back and picked her up out of the water to my chest. The release of breath after the baby is out is impossible to describe—every bit of tension, uncertainty, and overwhelm leaves with that breath. After a few moments we turned her around, and we had a girl!
We had those moments of disbelief with her on my chest while my brain and body attempted to reconnect. I leaned back in the tub and held her. After a few receiving blankets and some rubbing, she still hadn't let out a big cry. She had good breath sounds and a solid heartbeat. I held her, trying to keep her chest open while Aly worked to help her transition. It was still calm, dark, and peaceful.
We moved to the bed after the placenta was out but still connected. Aly worked on little Bean, but we all weren’t happy with where her oxygen saturation was sitting on its own, so we decided to make the call to go to Children’s. Before they even arrived she rooted; I brought her to my right breast and she latched right away — a big wide mouth, perfect jaw motions with loud swallows! This little lady was confusing everyone. She looked exactly like her brother, who somehow slept through the entire labor and birth.
We spent about 24 hours at Children’s in special care where she continued to nurse on demand perfectly and had no issues. She had a slow transition and we just needed the monitoring Children’s could provide that we couldn't get at home.
She came home, regained her birth weight by a week old, and things have been smooth sailing since. When I got home I got right back to my previously planned schedule, had a salty herb sitz bath, a glass of bubbles, and a big plate of tamales. Aly came to see us that evening and we continued our postpartum care with her.
This team held me in so many ways that I’ll forever be grateful for. I will always ask myself how I got this lucky to have Aly and Liz hold my hand (and my tailbone) through pregnancy, labor, and postpartum. Their compassionate wisdom guided me in the hardest and best moments of this season, and I’m endlessly grateful.
